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Doggfrisk bris i stille prakt
Ventande og klar for akt
Slik står dagen
Halvbefaren
eg prøver halda takt

Tidlig opp i morgonsol
Ho skuler bak eit vepsebol
Lyset svansa
Tid kan stansa
i lag med moder jord

Men ein stads frå høyrs ”du har’kje tid
Du vinn om du er produktiv”
Men falske normer
gjev indre stormar
og ingen garanti

For dagen er det dagen blir
Livet er det tida gir
Vindar dreg meg
Eg fyljer med
til eit sansestimuli

Eg tek meg fri

-Eli Gauden

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I once loved a man

Til hausten skal eg spela in EP, noko eg gledar meg til. Men framleis går det i eigen-produksjon med enkle teknikkar og utstyr. Sjølv om kvaliteten er så som så, er det likevel kjekt å få noko ut på nettet. Her er låten «I once loved a man» som eg har jobba med denne våren.

Skal også nevna oppreden på kaféen «Sutalaus» i Øystese laurdag 4.Juli  klokka 13:00.
Torsdag 9. Juli vert det konsert med meg + band klokka 19:00 på ferja Folgefonn på Hardanger Fartøyvernsenter.

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WP_20141019_002Det er interesant kva prosess ein songtekst går gjennom frå fyrste idé blir rabla ned på ein serviett, til ein endeleg kan trykka «lagre dokusment» under mappa «ferdige songtekstar».

Som låtskriving-student må eg stort sett skrive 2 songar, idéar til song, eller del av ein song, per veke. Som oftast må eg gå gjennom ein bestemt prosess, bestemt av lærearen. Det kan vera å skriva i moll, skriva blues, byrja med ein loop, byrja med refreng byrja med hook line, byrja med å finna alle rima du vil bruka i teksten, kun bruka fire akkordar ovsv.. Deretter føljer bestemte reglar ein må følga for å få lyttaren til å kjenna den kjensla du prøver å formidla.

Å skriva ein låt(som lekse) er altså ikkje berre å setja seg ned å skriva ut kjenslene sine, desverre. Det fyrste min tekst-skrivings-lærar sa til oss i byrjinga av semesteret var «Music is NOT magic». Noko mindre motiverande skal du leite lenge etter spør du meg, men noko sant ligg det vel i det.

På den andre sida, når eg personleg kosar meg som låtskrivar, er når eg har ei kjensle som eg berre må få ut og ned på papiret og inn i mikrofonen. Det er då det er kjekt å leika seg med ord og tankar. Og når låten er ferdig kjens det så deiiiilig. Det er som å sprekka ei boble av kjensler som har lagt å kokt inni deg!!!

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Eg tenkte som så…

Eg tenkte som så
om berre eg hadde all tid i verda
Men så kom eg på523634_10151196490036206_1546255318_n
At stela kan ikkje tid
Og vil gi like mykje alltid
Så er eg vel fri

Eg tenkte som så
Om berre eg visste kor å gå
Men så kom eg på
Med verken bom eller skilt
Kan eg gå kor eg vil
Så er eg vel fri

Eg tenkte som så
Om berre eg kunne letta å fly
Men så kom eg på
Med vilje eg kan flaksa
Og med latter sveva fritt
Så eg vel fri

Eg tenkte som så
Om berre heime var meir nær
Men så kom eg på
Mest tålmodig er hjartas grobudd
Så kanskje ein ny stad kan vikariera ei stund
Så er eg vel fri

Eg tenker som så
At dette var ikkje så dumt
At dersom eg er fri
Så kan eg vel leva
Akkurat når eg vil

-Eli Gauden Oct 11th 2014

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normal12My homework for my Music Therapy class this week, is to write a paper about one of the chapter in our 600 pages long MT book. Looking through the the table og content I decided right away what I wanted to write about; Music Therapy in the treatment of Behavioral-emotinal disorder. I find this very interesting because it deals with the feeling of beeing abnormal from a certain point of view.  After doing my reading about the topic, I now consider it more «normal» to feel «abnormal» then what most people would think. And I also think that chances may be big that YOU, in one way or the other, can relate to some of disorders/symptoms/feelings discribed in the followin paragrphs. Please take some time to read through and make your self some mental notes…:

“That person is acting so strange.” “What is wrong with her/him?” “Am I normal?” These are all thoughts that appear in most people’s mind once in a while. Either because of the way an other person is behaving, or because you feel yourself acting differently then others. We live in a society where normal is looks at equally with acceptance. However, the notion of what is considered normal and abnormal is very complex. It is reliant on culture, situation, a society’s norms as well as individuals, and thereon it varies a lot form place to place and gives a wide range of acceptable behaviors. For example; what clothes to wear in church versus on a football game. The way you applause on a symphony concert versus a rock concert. One will adjust ones attitude, language, clothing, and behavior, depending on the situation. Living in a world with different cultures, and social norms we can’t really say what is normal and not. However, when it comes to the point where behavior and emotions are considered a problematic on a personal level or inappropriate on a consistent term, it can be considered a behavioral-emotional disorder. The diagnosis is related to the frequency, duration and intensity in which the symptoms occur. Behavioral-emotional disorder can effect all people and is characterized as a disturbance in mood and thinking, perception of reality, and ability to relate to other people, thus, this is not a physical illness (although symptoms an be physical) but a mental disorder. Symptoms vary greatly, but can include fears, panic, lack of socialization, and racing heart.

The most common behavior-emotional disorders that people are being given treatments for is Schizophrenia, mood disorder, personality disorder, anxiety disorder and substance-related disorder.

Schizophrenia is a serious disorder where individual experience alteration in thinking, perception and behavior. Common symptoms individuals may experience are hallucination, delusions, movement disorder, flat affect and social withdrawal. However, the intensity and duration and how often the symptoms occurs differs. The term Schizophrenia refers to “splitting in mind”, and the disorder will always include impairment in more several areas of functioning; accordingly the illness is seen as pretty complex and as all behavioral-emotional disorder, hard to treat.

One of the important treatments for schizophrenia is antipsychotic medication. Medication only reduces, not cures, the illness, and can lead to serious side effects. On the other side, it will help people behave in more adaptive ways and reducing the intensity of the symptoms. Psychosocial therapy is also important as a treatment. Having a stable relationship to a therapist and a safe environment can help clients deal with their illness better and change their behavior pattern. Music therapy is a branch of psychosocial therapy that may be used for certain clients. It’s a way to make the client experience positive and uplifting feelings, that again may motivate them, help them structure their life, or make the reality seem more fearless. The therapist can guide and support the clients and help them deal with their everyday problems.

Substance Abuse and Behavioral DisorderMood disorder is a disturbance in mood, such as depression or extreme elation. The symptoms occur in episodes, periods where the victim experiences change from the normal functioning. During a depressive episodes for example, the individual will feel a persistent depressed mood, and may experience weight loss, changes in sleep pattern, lack of energy, feeling of worthlessness, and diminished interests in activities that would normally excite them. Mood disorder can be treated both with medication as well as Psychotherapy (talking therapy). The latter is where music therapy plays a role. By the use of music the clients can develop coping strategies, alter their maladaptive believes, as well as normalizing moods. As an example, music-making activities like playing instruments, sing or compose, require healthy interaction and on-task behavior, and can therefor be a good therapeutic tool. The type of treatment would vary depending on if the clients state. Some clients need to work through their conflicts, emotions and maladaptive patterns, whereas others still need to discover the conflicts within themselves.

Personality disorder is to be found at individuals with very extreme and inflexible personality traits, and/or a multiple personality. This person can come across either as acting in an odd or eccentric way, being very emotional and dramatic, or avoid social settings because of anxiety and fearfulness. Persons with this disease often lack of insight, and tend to blame their issues on others or complain about problems in their life without recognizing their own contribution to the problem. Clients with enduring patterns of maladaptive behavior, as in this case, may not benefit much by traditional therapeutic treatment, and therefor personality disorder can be difficult to change. However, a combination of therapy and medication is recently being used to a greater amount.

Anxiety disorder is shortly described as a normal response to when the stresses in everyday life becomes ongoing an excessive. Physical symptoms can be racing heart, chest panic or dizziness. Panic attack and avoiding behavior is also common which affect the interaction in everyday life.

Substance-related disorder is related to taking of drugs and abuse, or the side affects of medication and toxin exposure. It can lead to significant impairment of distress, which again leads to substance tolerance, withdrawal, and reduction in social and recreational activities.

As we have seen, symptoms and behaviors of clients with disorders vary a lot. Some clients are in a state where they don’t know where or who they are, some have issues doing basic self-skills, while others find it hard to organize their lives or even lack of insight. Because clients function differently in everyday life, one cannot treat everyone the same way. Dr. Barbara. R. Wheeler has proposed three levels of clinical practices in music therapy to meet the diverse needs of clients. Supportive, active-oriented music therapy promotes healthy behavior and requires active involvement and awareness of here-and now. Examples are group singing, playing musical instruments, or do musical games. Re-educative, insight-and-process-oriented music therapy also requires involvement, but has a greater emphasis on verbal reflection and processing emotions and relationships. The activities focus on problem solving, expressing feelings, and awareness and behavioral change. Also at this level the clients have insight in behavior and their own situation. Reconstructive, analytically and catharsis-oriented music therapy are used to uncover, relive or resolve subconscious conflicts that continues to hamper personal development. Music is used to elicit images and reconstruct conflict, as well as express feelings or act out relationships with significant people from the past. Clients must have a good reality orientation and motivation in order to gain personal change from this clinical approach.

Despite the big variation in behavioral patterns, music seems to be meaningful to a wide range of people and ages in different cultures. Because most everyone can find some sort of music to relate to, music is a great tool to use as treatment for clients with behavior-emotion disorder. Following the different levels of therapies described in the previous paragraph, there are specific categories of music therapy interventions that are commonly used. Certain interventions require more participation, such as playing, composing, songwriting and moving to music. This is a powerful tool to enhance self-awareness, to adapt healthy behaviors, and express oneself trough the means of music. Music for recreation, enjoyment, and relaxation is used either as a relaxation tool, to evoke images, or to fun (which to some clients can be a very important clinical goal). Other tools used are listening and responding to music, and music combined with expressive art.

In genera music is used to change maladaptive behavior, enhance feeling of worthlessness, energize, stabilize, help create structure and healthy pattern in everyday life, support through a difficult time etc. Clients with behavioral-emotion disorder are a fragile population, much because the line between normal and abnormal, and being sick and not, is hard to define. Because much of the symptoms derive from mental issues you cannot always tell from the external if a person is sick, in comparison to physical disabilities. I can personally connect to this, as a victim of eating disorder, which categorize as a behavioral-emotional disorder. Although the symptoms such as weight-loss, lack of energy, lack of socialization, changing in moods, frustration is more or less physical changes, the problem is not solved by for example eating more or force yourself to be more social, which is what an average person would tell you to do. This is a mental issue, where one would have to change the maladaptive patterns in your mind. Then again, how do you change the way mind function? It is not easy. That is why music therapy is used in such specific design ways when it comes to client with behavioral-emotional disorder. Therapist works to meet the client’s need and not only reduce symptoms, as medication would do, but to reach and gain change in the core of the problem, and thereon better their quality of life.

Music therapy is only defined as therapy when used in a clinical setting, with a professional trained therapist!

Music therapy is only defined as therapy when used in a clinical setting, with a professional trained therapist!

HOWEVER

PERSONALLY I use music in a therapeutic way every day! Songwriting, listening to music as I fall as sleep, singing as I walk the street, dancing....

PERSONALLY I use music in a therapeutic way every day! Songwriting, listening to music as I fall as sleep, singing as I walk the street, dancing….so can you!

 

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Den siste veka har eg delteke i ei såkalla happiness challange week, der eg dagleg har mottatt oppfordringar som skal hjelpa meg å finna glede i kvardagen. Her er eit eksempel frå dagens melding:

«So the final challenge in this program is to share the happiness! Do something kind and caring, compassionate or generous for someone else today because the more happy people out there the better for all of us!»

imagesDen fyrste meldinga eg fekk oppfordra meg til å leva på $1,50 ei heil veka. Ei visste med ein gong at å leva på ein tiar var å ta litt vel hardt i for min del. Men etter å ha spent x antall kr på ein flybillett til Miami var eg absloutt klar for å leva ein litt enklare og billigare kvardag i Boston. Eg tok dermed turen på busikken og handla matvarer 150 kr. Dette skulle eg leve på i ei veke, i tillegg til diverse tørrr-mat som allereie fantes i skapet; litt mair, graut, kjeks og slikt.

Det som fyrst slo meg med dette prosjektet var ikkje at det var vanskeleg å eta både billig og nok, men meir alle hindera det set opp. Her er ting eg har takka nei til siste veka «Eli, let’s go get a coffee together.» «Lets buy some food and make ourselves lunch.» «Wanna meet at Starbucks and do homework» «Let’s discuss it over dinner..?». Og her er mitt svar «Sorry, I promised myself to not spend money this week.»….litt kjedelig svar, kanskje? Det er slik at mykje sosialt liv skjer rundt ein kaffikopp eller matbit. Dersom eg kuttar ut desse sosiale happeningane…vil dette då blir eit vellykka gledes-prosjekt?
Den andre utfordringa eg møtte var det å eta det eg VIL på eit lavt budsjett. Eg er av typen som ikkje et berre fordi eg må, men fordi mat eg godt. Dermed må maten vera tilfreds-stillande for mine smaksansar, og det må vera det eg har lyst på akkurat det or då. Desverre er ikkje boksemat, ris og poteter(billig og mettande mat) det som stort sett tilfreds-stillar meg, eg likar fersk, dyr og god mat. På dag 5 i happiness-veka var eg tom for frukt og grønt. Eg måtte då ta nokre rundar med meg sjølv; det kjennes godt å leva på eit lavt budsjett, men å eta mat som personleg ikkje tilfredsstillar meg…? Hmm..Eg valdte å gå på butikken å kjøpa ferske grønsaker!

images-2Det har no gått ei veke, og det absolutt ut til at eg har levd billigare enn ellers, utan å på nokon som helst vis har måtta gå svolten. Ein av dei tinga det kjentes godt å endra på er kaffi-ritualet mitt. Etter eg kom til Boston har eg kjøpt meg éin kopp kaffi kvar dag.  Latte med soya-melk på wholefoods. Sterk, tilfreds-stillande og billig. No, derimot har eg invistert i eige kaffe-trakter, og lagar min daglege kaffe sjølv med skumma melk og honning. Kaffien smakar betre, eg slepp å stå i kø, og det vil ikkje gå lenge før eg har tent inn at dei utgiftene traktaren kosta meg. I tillegg har sidan etter jul baka scones kvar søndag og hatt til frukost kvar dag gjennom veka. Dette er absolutt billig og enkel mat…og for meg som alltid er seint ute til tine er Breakfast-to-go ein vinnar!

Ja, det kjennes godt å prøva å kun bruka penger på det eg treng, men med små avvik når eg kjenner eg fortener det. For dei som lev fleire i lag og eit meir rutine-prega liv enn slik usystematisk tilværelse eg befinn meg i no, trur eg at eit lavt budsjett kan vera enklare. Men sjølv for studentar som meg oppfordrar eg til å ta nytte av billig kaffetraktar, nisteboks, heimabake brød i frysen og «mat-pakke» i posten frå mor. «Smuler og også brød» seier mormor så ofte ho får anleding. Ser ut til at det er på tide å leva meir etter dette ordaket.

Det er mange måtar å finna glede på. Slik eg ser det gjekk dette gledes-prosjektet mykje ut på å finna glede i seg sjølv, heller enn å «kjøpa seg glede». Uansett kor bokstavleg ein tek det eller om du går for 10 kr dagen eller 100, så er det likevel godt å minne seg sjølv på akkurat dette. Særleg i eit slik bruk-og-kast-samfunnet me lev i i dag kan det vera godt å synka meir inn i seg sjølv og fokusera på kva som eigentleg gjer meg glad. Er det iphone5 og den nye kles-kolleksjonen på H&M?

Ein gledes-utfordring i seg sjølv: Finn ut kva det er som gjer deg GLAD!

Noko av det som gjer meg glad!

Noko av det som gjer meg glad, klatra i trær.

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https://soundcloud.com/eligauden/make-time

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